Holding Space, the Act of Being Present
Holding space refers to the act of being present for someone without judgment, advice, or trying to fix the situation. It's about offering emotional support in a non-judgmental, empathetic way.
How to Hold Space for Others
Listen Without Judgment - The foundation of holding space is listening without projecting your own opinions or solutions. When someone shares their thoughts or emotions, your role is simply to be present, giving them the room to express themselves fully. This can be challenging, as our instinct is often to offer advice or solve problems, but true holding space requires patience and compassion.
Honor Their Journey - Everyone’s path is different, and holding space means respecting where they are, even if you don’t understand or agree. By honoring their journey, you allow them the freedom to explore their own growth, healing, and understanding.
Offer Compassionate Presence - Your presence is a gift. Sometimes, just being there without words is enough. Holding space doesn't always require action—it can be as simple as sitting in silence with someone who is processing their emotions, offering comfort through your energy.
Provide Emotional Safety - One of the most important aspects of holding space is making the person feel emotionally safe. This means offering an environment where they can share without fear of being criticized or dismissed. It’s about creating a container that is free from judgment, where vulnerability is welcomed.
Be Comfortable with Not Knowing - Sometimes, the best way to hold space is to admit you don’t have all the answers. Instead of trying to steer the conversation or offer solutions, be okay with the unknown. Allow the space to unfold naturally, trusting that the person will find their own clarity in time.
Avoid Taking on Their Pain - While it’s important to be empathetic, holding space also means recognizing the difference between empathy and carrying someone else’s burden. It’s about supporting someone without becoming entangled in their emotions or struggles. You are there to witness, it’s not necessary to take on their pain.
Holding Space for Yourself
This is an important one so comes with a warning that I’m going to be long-winded! Holding space for yourself is about carving out time for self-care, reflection, and maintaining YOUR mental and emotional balance, even when life feels busy or overwhelming. Here are some examples of how you can practice holding space for yourself and preserving alone time, despite other demands:Holding space isn’t just for others—it’s equally important to hold space for yourself. In a world that constantly demands our attention and energy,
Morning Rituals - Start your day with quiet time just for yourself, even if it means waking up slightly earlier. Whether it's enjoying a cup of tea, journaling, meditating, or practicing breathwork, this time can help set the tone for a more centered day. Example: Instead of jumping right into emails or social media after waking up, take 10 minutes to breathe deeply, stretch, meditate and set an intention for the day.
Scheduled "Me Time" - Block out time on your calendar just like you would for an appointment or meeting. Use this time for anything that rejuvenates you—reading, taking a walk, or simply sitting in silence. Example: Every Sunday evening, you set aside an hour to do something you love—like a solo nature walk, painting, or taking a bath. It’s non-negotiable and allows you to recharge for the week ahead.
Digital Detox - Take a break from your devices to reconnect with yourself. Turn off notifications and put your phone away for a set period of time each day. Example: After dinner, you turn your phone off for the night and spend the next hour doing something mindful, like reading a book, practicing yoga, or journaling.
Boundaries with Social Commitments - This is a BIG one for all of us! Politely decline social invitations or say “no” to commitments that don’t serve your well-being when you’re feeling drained. It's okay to prioritize your need for alone time. Example: When friends invite you to a spontaneous gathering but you’re feeling overstimulated, you honor your need for rest and kindly decline, choosing to recharge at home instead.
Solo Time Outdoors - Spend time in nature alone. A walk in the woods, a trip to the park, or simply sitting by a lake can create mental space for introspection and mindfulness. Example: Once a week, you take a 30-minute solo walk in a quiet, natural space, allowing you to reflect and clear your mind.
Mindful Transitions - Give yourself permission to pause between activities. Instead of rushing from one task to the next, take a few deep breaths to reset your energy. Example: Before starting a new project or meeting, take two minutes to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and reset your focus.
Sacred Evening Routine - Create a relaxing evening routine that helps you wind down from the day and reconnect with yourself before bed. Example: Every night, you light a candle, practice a few yoga stretches, meditate, and express gratitude for three things that went well that day. It becomes your nightly ritual to decompress and ground yourself, much like your sacred time in the morning before you start your day.
Day for Yourself - Designate one day (or part of a day) each month just for you. Use this time to do something that nourishes your soul—whether it’s a hobby, meditation, or simply resting. Example: On the first Saturday of every month, you dedicate the morning to yourself. You don’t make plans with others and focus on activities that bring you joy—like baking, crafting, or taking a solo hike.
Create a Personal Sanctuary - Dedicate a space in your home that’s just for you, where you can retreat when you need alone time. Fill it with comforting items like cushions, candles, or plants to enhance relaxation. Example: You create a cozy corner in your living room with a comfy chair, a blanket, and a small table for your favorite books. It becomes your go-to space for quiet time.
As we learn to hold space for others, we contribute to a more compassionate, understanding world.
This sacred act of presence deepens our relationships, fosters healing, and reminds us that we are all interconnected. Whether you’re holding space for a friend, a loved one, or even yourself, remember that your presence—without judgment or agenda—can be one of the most profound gifts you can offer.
By cultivating this practice, we create the opportunity for growth, healing, and transformation on both personal and collective levels.