Let’s face it, we all enjoy dining out with friends but it can be a bit unnerving when your dietary lifestyle has limitations.  And particularly so when you’re not able to select the restaurant.  The key to dining out is to prepare for the scenario you’re about to embark on.

First and foremost, be mindful of how busy the restaurant is as you’re seated, and be super kind to your server. You need them to answer a few questions and hopefully accommodate your requests.  If the restaurant is super busy, please have realistic expectations and limit your requests to basic substitutions.  Let your server know you have a few dietary restrictions; no meat, dairy, oil, sugar, or salt.  Did you note the italicized word above?  Realistic.  While I am 100% wfpb, there a times when I am lenient with a few ingredients and they are: oil, sugar, and salt.  I try to avoid them at all costs but sometimes, well you know, it’s next to impossible.  Personally, I also try to avoid using the word vegan and ask for the most whole form of beans, rice, vegetables, and fruit, their healthiest dishes available.  If you’re in a fine restaurant you can even ask to speak to the chef. From my experience, they’re delighted for the opportunity to create something delectable.  A little sugar coming from you goes a long way so like I said earlier, be super kind to your server AND the chef.  Like all things in life, being demanding gets you nowhere.

Key Questions to Ask When Ordering from a Menu

• How is the menu item prepared, with oil, butter, or other added fats?

• Is it baked, fried, steamed or roasted? 

• Can it be steamed, baked or dry-roasted?

• Is oil or butter added to the vegetables, how about the sauce?

• Is the pasta tossed with oil or butter?

• Is whole-wheat pasta available?

• Is brown rice available?

• Is whole-grain bread available?

• Is non-fat salad dressing or balsamic vinegar available?

• Are soups prepared with meat, chicken, or seafood stock?

• Is there milk or cream added.

Example of an ideal request:  Would you mind checking with the chef to see if it’s possible to saute some mushrooms, chopped tomatoes, garlic, and vegetable stock, and serve over whole-grain pasta?  Ask the server to repeat back your request to make sure they understand what you’re asking for. 

Tips for Ordering from Any Restaurant Menu

Mexican

• Build your own tacos, tostados, or burritos by ordering a variety of sides:

• Black or pinto beans (ask for no oil or lard)

• Corn tortillas

• Dry-sauteed or steamed vegetables (ask for no oil)

• Seasoned rice, preferably brown rice (no oil)

• Salsa

• Gazpacho

• Shredded lettuce and chopped tomatoes

Steakhouse

• Baked potato stuffed with steamed broccoli, dry-sauteed mushrooms, and garlic

• A dinner salad with non-fat dressing or balsamic vinegar (you can also bring your own)

• Sides; black beans, green beans, mushrooms, broccoli – request veggies are steamed or dry-roasted

• Whole-grain dinner roll or bread

Italian

• Dinner salad with non-fat dressing or balsamic vinegar (you can also bring your own)

• Whole-grain dinner roll or bread

• Soup, ask questions about ingredients included

• Pasta (whole-grain if available) with added tomato sauce (no added oil) with chopped tomatoes, garlic, steamed or dry-roasted vegetables, and dried or fresh basil

• Veggie pizza with added sauce and veggies – remind them of NO CHEESE

Asian/Thai

• Miso soup

• Veggie sushi roll with brown rice if available  (no imitation crab)

• Fresh spring roll

• Steamed vegetables with tofu over brown rice – stay away from sauces such as sweet and sour or black bean sauce

• Ask for low-sodium soy sauce

• Red or green curry with vegetables and tofu

• Vegetable pad Thai

Indian

• Vegetable and tofu curry with brown rice

• Lentil dish with vegetables

• Roti, chapatti, or naan – ask that it not be drizzled with oil

Pub Fare – I find pubs to be the most difficult as everything is deep fried

• A dinner salad with non-fat dressing or balsamic vinegar (you can also bring your own)

• Black bean burger -  good luck finding these as it seems everyone has switched over to Beyond and Impossible Burgers or as I call them, Impossible to eat burgers not to mention they’re loaded with unhealthy fat

• Baked potato loaded with steamed vegetables or salsa

Plan Ahead

• Almost every restaurant as an online menu these days. 

• Call ahead, if you’re unsure of what’s available, call ahead to see if they can accommodate your requests. 

• Eat a snack beforehand if you don’t think there will be enough options to fill you up.  It’s one meal, it’s not the end of the world so just enjoy yourself regardless of whether or not the food is satisfying. 

• Bring along travel-size containers of your homemade salad dressing. 

• Be prepared to be disappointed and enjoy the surprise when you’re not!  I’ve had fabulous meals when communicating with the chef on what my dietary needs are. 

The biggest obstacle is not the restaurant, it’s your friends.  Let’s talk about this.  It can be uncomfortable dining with friends, especially in the beginning or when around new people.  This is completely normal to have these feelings, and it’s also natural to feel tempted to go along with those around you – to begin justifying why it’s okay to fall off the wagon for just one meal, for just one holiday, one weekend, and so on.  It’s not worth it, believe me.

Don’t hesitate to share with your friends that you have dietary restrictions and you’ll be making a few special requests.  Most restaurants will accommodate you and your friends will say, “ That looks so good, I didn’t see it on the menu.”  These moments are priceless and a good time to pause, take a deep breath, and reconnect with yourself in the moment.  You are courageous, you are committed to your health, you stayed on course, and you feel better and are healthier because of it.  Heck, you may even inspire others to live a healthier life. 

Here are some examples of how you can express how you feel after adopting this way of eating:

• I haven’t felt or looked this great in ___ years; I hope I can inspire my friends and family so we can support each other and together we can make this way of living more fun!

• That steak sure looks tempting, but I know I’ll feel better if I eat healthier, so I’m going to make a better choice for me.  Besides, there are many other delicious options to choose from.

Turn your thinking into solutions rather than obstacles.

Social situations can be challenging, causing anxiety.  The best way to handle this is self-talk to reframe our thinking from negative to positive thoughts.  Here are a few examples:

From: I’m afraid I’m going to feel deprived at this dinner party, that there won’t be anything for me to eat.

To:  I’m going to prepare my favorite dish and share it at the dinner party, so that I can enjoy eating with everyone else.

From:  My friends are not going to want to go out with me anymore when they see I’m not partaking in the same way as them.

To:  I’m just going to relax and have fun.  No one is going to even notice what I order.  Just be present and enjoy being out and authentically connecting with my friends.

From:  I’m nervous about going on this trip, it’s going to be so hard for me to eat along the way.

To:  I’m packing plenty of snacks for my trip, and I’ve identified several great local dining options and grocery stores.

Planning ahead really does take the stress away from dining out and social situations.  Give it a try and most importantly go easy on yourself, you’ll get the hang of it in no time at all.

Adapted from Dean Ornish, M.D. and Anne Ornish Un Do It!

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